Cleaning out some of the old detritus that collects in the dusty corners of my document file, and came across this, written at a moment when my granddaughters were both reaching one of those seminal moments in their lives. Today they have moved on — one is a Registered Nurse, practicing her craft — the other will be starting a new job in the communications field soon, that was her goal. Both have grown so much in the past two years — my eldest granddaughter has given us the gift of a great-granddaughter — the sunshine of our lives, as was her Mother when she was born! The other having been working hard in the restaurant industry, now has the opportunity to work in the field which she has long wanted to achieve. Both are amazing (yes I am biased) — and have worked diligently to move forward to reach their goals. As I say in my letter — life is hard, and meeting it head-on tests all of us. I am so proud of their work ethic, their caring spirits, and their devotion to each other and our family circle. Just thought I’d pass this on to perhaps inspire those who are in the same situation, or at least give a heads-up so they know they are not alone in their quests and journeys. Good luck to all those just starting out and may you all find your own personal bliss!
My Dearest Loves,
You both are at a transitional moment in your lives, where changes are inevitable and life-altering. While traversing this time span, the decisions you make now can follow you for the rest of your days. A____n – you will receive your nursing certification by the end of this year and L___y – you graduated from college in May – I congratulate both of you sincerely and with admiration at your outstanding accomplishments. You both worked long and hard to get to this point in your lives – but now the really hard work starts – there will be new doors opening and new opportunities awaiting your choices. The world is not the most forgiving place – you must make your own way into the messy fray that is life in this modern world. I know deep inside my innermost soul that you both have what it takes to be successful in your chosen fields – but to be successful as a person will also take integrity, strength of character and wisdom. Along your pathway you will find those people who will champion your goals, those who will try to impede your forward motion, and those who will love and cherish you just because you’re you! (I’m one of those).
I am biased in thinking that you two are the greatest gifts I have ever received – our time together is precious and much too short. However, you must move on with your lives – I hope to inspire and encourage you to reach your highest potential – to realize what is really important – and to believe in yourselves, your innate goodness, your inner beauty (we can all see the outer loveliness) – your intelligence and perhaps most importantly, your family sense of humor (which will sustain you throughout your lives) and your solid grounding in “common-sense”.
1) Family is the most constant and important factor in our lives – they will be there for you in triumph and in failure, in sickness and in health, and will love you unconditionally forever.
2) Never allow anyone to define you – be strong in identifying your own strengths and weaknesses – only then are you able to work towards your goals using a clear and mindful idea of all your abilities – you are the best arbiter of your self.
3) DO NOT listen to naysayers – there are those who would see you fail – why? I haven’t got the answer to that one yet – but know yourself and disregard those who try to put you down – they may be insecure, needy, or just plain mean-spirited – you don’t need these people in your life!
4) Smile – a lot – it will draw happy people into your realm – and make others wonder just what you are up to! Either way it’s a win/win for you.
5) Be honest in all of your dealings with others, give the benefit of doubt to those you feel are trying their best, but most of all – be true to yourself! Use your intuition and common-sense in all relationships – if there is a feeling of doubt or worry – listen to your inner voice – it never lies! Get out of bad situations and toxic relationships and you will know a true feeling of relief and safety.
6) The one you choose to be your mate or partner is the most important decision of your life – you want someone who has your back, who wants you to succeed, who is not jealous or petty, who is loyal, who loves you unconditionally, and who would be a suitable and loving Father to your future children. Don’t settle for second best, your true love is out there (there are probably a few) and you will find each other, I know this from the bottom of my heart.
7) Opportunities will come and go – if one door closes another will be opening – you have time to find your most desired path – try a few different roadways – see what works best for you – you are meant to be a happy, loving and giving human being. Your choice of career, job or work will define who you are in large part because that is how we judge people in society. However, your job is not you – it is what you do – remember to separate the two – your true persona is your spirit, your ability to love, and your caring heart.
8) I know that there will be times when you are confused as to the right path to take, and you must know that there will be bumps in the road ahead – but bumps are different – some like speed-bumps are meant to slow you down for a moment to reassess where you are and if you are in the right place. Other bumps are from the falls we take when a decision we made was wrong for us – the best way to overcome these bumps is to get up and dust yourself off and try again. Now – bumps or lumps in our bodies (breasts) can be serious and need to be attended to at once – they are usually benign – the odds are in your favor – your job is to be able to see the differences in the bumps in the road of life! Some to be taken seriously – others – no big deal.
9) I believe that we here on Earth are meant to find happiness – and I feel that everyone finds some sort of happiness in a full lifetime – there will be pain and sorrow – but the happy times can assuage those with strength of character. I also believe that we are entities of light and energy – and we will survive this lifetime on Earth to go on to evolve into higher and higher beings. Life is a kind of test – it’s not pass or fail – it is a honing of our humanity to an ever higher level.
10) Life is short – after almost 80 years of living, I can attest to this as fact! No matter how long one lives, it is the quality of one’s life in total that gives it meaning – we will all have regrets, moments of doubt, questioning if it’s all worth the effort – my answer is absolutely! How lucky are we to have this gift of life – it is our birthright to become our best selves and to pass on to the next generation what we have learned.
Almost through (I can hear the groans) – some of life’s pain is through the loss of our loved ones – the sadness lessens but never goes away completely – you will lose your parents one day – so I would advise – appreciate them NOW! I know there are moments when they seem so incredibly difficult, angry, upset, and unreasonable – you will one day look back and think of those times and realize how much they loved you and wanted only to keep you safe. You kept them up all hours of the night as infants with teething, as teenagers when you finally got your license and could drive alone, and as adults making decisions they mightn’t have agreed with at all, but still, they allowed you to follow your heart and instincts. You won’t know how difficult that is until you, too, have children. Still they loved you unconditionally no matter what choices you made. Try to appreciate them because they are trying so hard to be the best parents they can be, and they will always be there for you.
These words are only the tip of the iceberg – there is so much more I want to say – but I lack the wherewithal to find exactly the right words, and if this is too long I am afraid you will lose interest. Know that you are loved, that you are absolutely enough just as you are, that no one has the right to tell you how you should be, and I (and Grampy) will love you till the end of our days and beyond.